Koolatron Katastrophe

The other evening our extended family had a big laugh on me. A great faux pas and a great story:

Chuck and I had planned a long car trip to the Midwest, so we bought a highly recommended 12 volt cooler so we would not be at the mercy of bad road side diners. Our initial trip with the cooler was to the Seattle area where we were going to see our son Will off for his mountaineering in the Rainier area. We had cooled and packed the cooler in our living room, and it was loaded. We had loaded in and out of our car several times and were very pleased. Will needed his own provisions for his climb, so he went shopping for climbing food.

At this point, I should divulge that our new cooler also doubles as a food warmer. I remember quickly reading the instructions and being very puzzled about the process of reversing the polarity so it would heat. (Maybe you know where this is going!)

We had a room at a lovely Victorian Inn between Ashford and Paradise lodge. We unloaded and moved into the little suite, and I quickly plugged in the cooler so we could get some dinner down the road. Will had me put in several package of cheeses and some packages of hot smoked salmon. Dinner was okay, and we returned to our room, read for awhile, and turned in early because it had been a long day.

The next morning at 6:30 AM Will came in holding a plastic package that dangled limply in his hand. It was his cheese. He pointed to the cooler. I opened the cooler and could practically feel steam. There were his two packages of hot, hot-smoked salmon. His cheese was melted and liquid in the cellophane. And everything we had in the "cooler" was cooked. Among the casualties:

• An unopened package of Chinese barbecued pork
• A package of dried prunes
• A bag of peaches turned into peach soup.
• A package of lettuce
• A bottle of garlic vinaigrette
• 2 packages of lunch meat
• 3 packages of cheese
• 1 jar of pepper jelly
• bottles of mustard and catsup
• Several containers of yogurt
• 1 bottle of beer (almost too hot to touch)
• 1 bottled of Spanish sparkling wine with a very bent cork (I think that it was 5 minutes from blowing its top.)

Did I say it was a very big cooler?

Will desperately needed to replace his lost food for the climb which was about to start in an hour, so Chuck and I start out down the highway looking for backpacking food. We drove several miles before we were stopped by a herd of elk in the middle of the road. (How often does one find a herd of elk when actually looking for them? Never!) It was quite dark out so the camera back in the room probably wouldn't have gotten a good shot of this huge bull elk and his herd of girls anyway. Soon we were on our way. With persistence we were able to find some vacuum-packed tuna, some packages of cheese, some jerky, and some fruit leather.

Will accepted our peace offering, and started up the mountain. Back at the Inn, we cleaned out the cooler. We threw the whole mess into the dumpster. I closely examined the plug on the cooler. There was an arrow on one end of the plug, and a plug with a red side and a blue side on the other end. What were the odds that in plugging it in (about 4 times), each time until the 9th I had selected the lucky blue side. Unfortunately for all of us, the last time I had connected to the red or heat side.

I thought I could blame all of this on a manual written in Skri Lanka, but when I read it after I returned home, it was clear that I had been sloppy in my preparation. I can guarantee you it is a mistake I won't make again.