Conversion

Today I tossed my red plaid cookbook,
1930’s New Better Homes and Garden version.
into our co-mingle recycling bin.
Poring through my old friend,
I rescued my favorite recipes—
chocolate chip cookies and mincemeat pie.
My new bible is America’s Test Kitchen.
Mincemeat is not in their new book,
nor is old-time molded perfection salad.
My copper molds live at Goodwill,
leaving more room for microplanes,
my fat separator and salad spinner.
Oxtail stew and chipped beef are missing
with old-fashioned recipes like jelly roll,
buckwheat griddle cakes, sauerbraten,
sea foam candy, tutti-frutti bars, and fruit cocktail pie.
Tuna croquettes, tuna tetrazinni, and
company tuna-bake outlawed forever.
Children rejoice because liver loaf
and snappy liver dip no longer exist.
Test Kitchen chefs believe light brownies or
light cheesecake are not oxymorons.
Our doctors are happier because
mayonnaise, cooking in aluminum wrap,
maraschino cherries, and red food coloring
are no longer part of our diets. But hey,
my cooking light and vegetarian sections
rethink fettuccine alfredo and lasagna.
Come over sometime. We’ll have cassoulet.