Honk If You Love Jesus

Many years ago, in fifth grade
I received my first chain letter.
“Send this letter to ten friends
or your life will be ruined.”
Friendless. Ruined forever.
Those letters always promised
heaven or hell, happiness or catastrophe.

Chain letters are back, annoying
me from cyberspace. The emails
begin, “God Bless You.”
Who would have thought
God would be messaging me
through an email chain letter.

The letter criticized the faint-hearted
who would not forward the message
to ten best friends. Obviously,
they were ashamed to admit
knowing the Lord. Angels, butterflies,
and Thomas Kinkade pictures fill
my computer screen, rivers sparkling
across the screen into the Sidebar.

After recounting many blessings,
the message ends with the kicker:
“If you love Jesus, send this
message and its heavenly
pictures to ten people. Soon
you will be blessed with a miracle.”
Immediately I visualize St. Peter
sitting at his computer in the sky,
crossing me off as I press Delete.

If you love this poem,
pass it on to ten fellow poets
or risk the loss of your muse.
Forever.